The Fire and the Filter: Why Unsullied Evidence in Mediumship Demands an Empty Chair
By Karen Baldwin
Recently, I was having a frank and fearless discussion with Trish, one of my core supporters and valued advisors. She handed me a brilliant, blunt piece of feedback regarding how a reader’s own life experiences, survival histories, and personal belief systems can unconsciously overlay or influence a reading.
She was spot on.
In my everyday career within the public service, we understand that a flawed or biased lens taints the program outcomes. If a program designer projects their own history onto program design, the integrity of the outcome is compromised. Yet, in this completely unregulated spiritual marketplace, psychics and mediums routinely allow their personal psychology to paint the entire environment. They let their own lives taint the information coming through, rather than stepping entirely out of the way.
Let's be completely straight up about how this happens.
Every reader carries a human past. I have spoken openly before about navigating complex personal relationship dynamics and surviving some incredibly difficult chapters in my own history. Those experiences shaped my resilience, but if I am not fiercely grounded in the mechanical discipline of the blend, that personal history can easily try to run the digital storefront.
I remember a psychic reading a while ago. A lady sat across from me who had recently ended a relationship. Because of the heavy, toxic dynamics I had to survive in my own distant past, my immediate, un-blended human reaction was to smile and say, "Well, that was a good thing for you."
The lady stopped me completely short. She looked at me and said, "No, actually, it wasn't bad at all. We had a really good relationship, we just came to an amicable agreement that we no longer fitted together, and it was better for both of us to end it."
I believed her completely. Some readers might try to twist that client's words using mental gymnastics to fit a dramatic narrative, claiming the client is just hiding their true suffering. Nup. I don't play those games. She was telling the absolute truth, and my own historical filters had briefly tried to get in the way of a clean soul-to-soul attunement. To deliver accurate insight, a psychic reader must completely set aside their own timeline and focus entirely on the energetic blueprint of the person sitting in the chair.
The exact same distortion happens during evidential mediumship. If a medium has had an intensely complex, difficult relationship with their own mother - and my own history with my mother was polite to call complicated - they run the risk of assuming every mother coming through from the spirit world is unpleasant or manipulative.
Conversely, you see mediums who have never experienced a day of complex relationship friction in their lives. They use soft, pretty words to describe every single parent or grandparent as "gorgeous, beautiful, kind, fun, and gentle."
That is sloppy, undisciplined work. It is an assumption based on personal privilege, not real evidence.
I experienced this myself as a client with an untrained reader who claimed to connect with one of my grandmothers. Now, to be entirely straight up, THAT grandmother was one of the most toxic, cruel, and abusive people you could ever encounter. But the medium kept pushing these generic, hallmark-card grandmother vibes onto me. "Oh, she loved you so much, she's sending you so much light."
I was getting highly annoyed. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "No, she didn't. You are not with my grandmother. You need to stop talking." The reader was deeply insulted, but the reality was plain: she was polishing a turd. She was pushing a lazy stereotype because that is what her own personal bias assumed a grandmother should be.
This brings us to a non-negotiable boundary regarding your rights as a consumer: You have the absolute right to refuse a contact.
Whether you are attending one of my Evening of Mediumship events in a regional town or sitting for a private session with someone else, you are the independent observer. If a connection does not feel accurate, authentic, or psychologically safe, you do not have to sit there and take it. An ethical medium will never force a connection onto you or double down with claims like, "Oh, but this is definitely for you, you just don't understand it yet." That is not how ethical readings work. That is not appropriate.
Finally, this human overlay doesn't just apply to relationship trauma. It applies to personal philosophies and orthodox backgrounds. I have witnessed psychics look at a client and declare, "You just need to trust in the healing power of Jesus Christ."
Now, if a client explicitly works within a Christian or Catholic framework, that's fine. But bringing their own fear-based religious structures, dogmatic philosophies, paganism, or shamanic assumptions into a reading without explicit consent is entirely unprofessional. Unless the person sitting across from you knows that is how you operate, do not assume they are receptive to it.
As a client, you always have the power to say, "That doesn’t align with my values or my philosophy. Let's keep that out of it, but please continue with the evidence."
True mediumship requires an empty chair. It requires the reader to have the raw human discipline to sit down, turn their own life completely off, and allow the deep blend and evidence from the spirit world to do the talking. Come along to my next event, sit back and observe that standard for yourself.
I’ll say it a little louder for the people at the back
You always have the right to refuse a contact. Whether you are at one of my Evening of Mediumship events or a private sitting, if a reading does not feel psychologically safe or accurate, you can say no or stop. An ethical reader cannot force a message onto you or blame your "skeptical energy" for their bias.
If the medium is truly blended with the communicator, they should be aware of their character, personality and the dynamics of their relationship with the recipient. If they become aware that there may be sensitivities for the reader, they should tread cautiously and allow the recipient to remain firmly in the driver’s seat. Likewise, the recipient has the right to say “I don’t wish for this contact to continue” - the medium must respect that boundary.